Seconds Before Dying
by Lydia E. Nheers
Summary: A heart attack is not instant. It usually takes a few minutes to die. Mello is dying. What is he thinking about in his last few minutes on Earth? Rated T for language. Some OOC,  But I am trying!  Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy! Please R&R!


**A/N: I do not own Death Note. I wish I did. And to everyone reading my other story, please don't worry. I am still working on that one. I'm fighting the evil plot holes and writer's block. But this story popped into my head at work, and was screaming to be written. So hopefully you all enjoy this one. Oh and this story has some yaoi. Please don't read if you don't like that.**

His heart skipped a beat. Then another, and another. A tightness he had never felt before in his nineteen years suddenly gripped his chest like a vice. "Fuck." Mello said softly to himself. "I'm dying, aren't I?" He tightly gripped truck's steering wheel. Suddenly, everything slid into place, and he understood it all. He knew exactly who Kira was. He now knew exactly how everything worked, and how everything happened. It all made so much sense now…damnit…

But…honestly, it didn't really matter anymore. Not Kira, not the Death Note, and for the first time in a very long time, his thoughts were not even on beating his lifelong enemy and rival Near. No…nothing in these last few precious minutes mattered. He didn't want his very last thoughts in this life to be in anger. Instead, his mind went to Matt's face. Matt's voice. Matt's touch. He tried to capture him now in the frame of his mind and hold it as long as he could. God…he saw him so clearly now. He could hear his voice in his head, like beautiful music.

Shit…this fuckin' _hurts_…he closed his eyes and gripped his chest. Each horrible second was passing like its own eternity. He could feel heat radiating from the back of the truck. Instantly, he knew. It was on fire. But he lacked the strength to even move. It would be a few minutes before it caught up to him in the front. But it didn't matter now. He was going to die. He was ready. 'Bring it on.' He thought to himself.

"Hey Mello…" The young man opened his icy blue eyes and saw the brunette teenager in the front seat next to him. He was wearing his usual black and white striped shirt, vest, and jeans. His goggles sat perched on his head. And he was sitting hunched over with a beeping electronic video game in his hands, a lit cigarette delicately hanging between his slightly pursed lips. He looked exactly as he always did. He looked _wonderful_.

"Matt?" Mello whispered looking over at him, unable to fully comprehend what he was seeing next to him. "You're dead."

"Yep." He replied without looking up, the music of the game filling the silence.

"So…am I dead now?"

"Not yet. But any second now. You're having a heart attack. As you well know, Takada wrote your name down on a piece of death note paper, and the truck is on fire."

"I know…I know…ever…everything. It…it doesn't matter. Matt…this fucking hurts." He whispered looking plainly at him.

"I know." Matt looked up, shutting the game off. He took a drag from his cigarette and threw it out the window; it disappeared instantly into the daylight. "I know it hurts. It will all be over in just a few more seconds."

"No. I didn't mean that." Mello looked Matt into his deep blue eyes. "I mean, it does hurt here." He indicated his chest and went on "…but…Matt, I'm sorry."

The brunette cocked his head to the side and smirked. "For what?"

"For…getting you killed. Why the fuck didn't you…say no to me? Why…" He paused to take a ragged breath. "Why didn't you ever fu…fuckin' say no? You…you could be alive right now…You…didn't deserve…any of this..." His voice was rapidly growing fainter. It was getting more and more difficult to talk. The pain in his chest was excruciating and he could start to feel his extremities growing numb. He could hardly move his arms or legs now. He took another breath. "Matt…I'm…I'm…."

Matt's smile only grew wider and he reached a hand over and caressed Mello's cheek. "Don't try to talk now, and listen to me. You might be a genius, but you are _such_ an idiot sometimes. I thought it would be obvious by now. I went along with everything you have ever done for one reason. I love you." He paused for a moment and went on:

"Do you remember the first day we met? When we were children at the orphanage? I was completely isolated in my own little world with just me and my video games, and you came into that world. Shattering that self-imposed silence like a freakin' tornado. God you were annoying at first. Loud and angry all the time…but damned adorable. You gave me friendship when I needed it. You gave me adventure and a sense of purpose. You also gave me the love that I have never felt before. Mello, I came here to tell you one more time…I love you."

The leather clad youth felt himself slipping away. Death was mere moments away. But to his own surprise, his eyes welled up and a single tear escaped his long lashes and spilled out onto his pale cheek. Usually, he would never _ever _allow this. He would never show this weakness to anyone. He had never cried in front of Matt even. Even though they had shared everything since their days at Whammy's House, he never allowed himself to be weak in front of him. He was always the strong one. He was the one always in charge. But right now, in this moment, it was okay. It was completely okay. He was here, with Matt and it was okay. It didn't even matter that he was in agonizing pain, and that he only had about another thirty seconds to live.

Matt softly wiped his tear away with his thumb. "It's time Mello…" he whispered and leaned in. "I gotta go now." He put his hands on the other teenager's cheeks and kissed him very gently on the lips. Mello could feel his touch on his face. So warm and soft…so…_alive_. He could also feel his kiss. It was another one of the thousands of kisses they had shared in their years together. Some soft and gentle and innocent, their lips pressed shyly together, not even knowing what to do with their hands. And others so electrifying and heated, their lips and teeth tearing at each other, tongues dancing wildly together and a night of passionate lovemaking imminent. The young man closed his eyes, but this time he even have the strength to kiss his lover back, no matter how much he desperately wanted to. His whole body was almost completely numb now. His eyes were growing heavier and heavier.

"Go to sleep. I will see you soon." He kissed him on the forehead and added sweetly; "I love you Mihael."

Mello very slowly opened his eyes once again and the truck was empty. Matt was gone and he was once again left alone. The truck was quickly growing unbearably hot. But his heart was at peace. Matt was waiting for him. He was waiting, and he wasn't angry as Mello had feared. He knew deep in his soul that finally everything was going to be alright.

He took in his last breath and whispered softly into the still, silent vehicle. "I love….you too…Mail…" He found the strength to give a small smile as he closed his eyes, laid his head on the steering wheel, and died.


End file.
